Mr Ged signed for the Allstars after spending most of his career at Alphaletico Madrid. The fearsome defender is known throughout the Festog Federation for his tough tackling and even tougher slaggings. 'The Mouth From The South' as the fans call him, has been a great believer in coaching his fellow team mates often giving such encouraging phrases as 'What the Fuck was that you twat' and 'You can go fuck spiders'. Mr Ged is also famed for saving the Reliant Car company from bankrupcy by buying their entire stock of Three Wheelers. They even named a (very) limited special edition after him, the Reliant Scimiter Sabre TCi.

Mr Ged Factfile

Age: 29
Fans Nicknames: Mr Ged, Mouth from the South, .
Position: Defensive Hatchet Man
Best At: Nailing Dynamo Dunlin players
Distinguishing Feature: 350 decibel voice
Favourite Film: Yellow Submarine
Favourite Song: Ferry Across the Mersey
Childhood Hero: Bob Paisley
Real life Quote: 'YOU CAN'T BE OFFSIDE FROM A FUCKIN' THROW-IN YOU STUPID CUNT!!!!'
Interesting Fact: Ged once had dinner with President Clinton.
Greatest Moment in an Allstars Shirt: Keeping a clean sheet for 2 minutes and 36 seconds after which the rest of the Tiffys came on.