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With the new football season just around the corner, the Bravo Allstars are preparing to mount their strongest challenge yet in an attempt to finally lift the much-coveted Festog-Fives trophy.

News was breaking this morning that a management reshuffle had taken place within the Allstars, with the much loved player-manager John Kay, 43, being prised out of the hotseat and given the new post of Director of Football (DOF). His assistant will be Hot-Rod MacLachlan who takes the position of Son of Director of Football (SODOF). Captain Elgie has been installed as the new team manager but, insists he will continue to play. 'The new management team is bound to strike fear into our rivals' said club chairman John W. Smith. Smithers also pledged to invest heavily in the club, saying ' I have given Colin Elgie an open cheque book as I know he will buy carefully.'

Captain Elgie said ' I am pleased to take over the team although it will be very hard to follow in Kay's footsteps!' John Kay, DOF, added ' I think I have taken the team as far as I can and I'm quite sure that the lads will take a shine to Colin'. When asked if this was a step down, Kay replied ' It's not a question of being No1 or No2, as you just don't get that choice. Me and Colin will be working together, with him picking the team and me looking after matters off the field.'


Allstars board announced that a new book had been released to try in bring in some money for the club, the book ' Barvo Ollstars' by Chris Barnbrook is expected to rake in at least 47p. Author Chris Barnbrook, who is a HUGE fan of the Allstars, said ' The book covers the history of the club since it's founding in 1996 by William Ramage the great goat…. Farmer, hence the club mascot ' Bill E. Goat'.


New manager, Captain Elgie was swift at moving into the transfer market, signing up young wonder kid Chris Jappy. Colin said ' I have been watching him for some time now and I've never seen anyone quite like him.' Chris Jappy, 36, added ' Oh aye min, I have always wanted to play for the Allstars and feel I will be able to help with their title bid.' He went on ' I may not be the fastest runner but I'm good at chip shots.'


Allstars young starlet, Ali G is expected to join training shortly after filming the last of his TV shows for Channel 4.  He said ' I loved working on TV, and Channel 4 said I was brilliant, but I'm not going to get big-headed about it.'


Club DOF, John Kay revealed a new strip deal for the Allstars which is believed to be worth around £10m over the next 3 seasons. The strip from sports giants Pendle is to be Purple and White, when asked why the club had changed colours from last year, Kay said ' I think we needed a change of strip with our change of manager and one night while I was in my bed all I could see was purple, white, purple, white.'

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