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With less than two weeks left until the world reknowned Festog 5's takes place, bookmakers are no longer accepting bets on Bravo Allstars. A spokesman for Ladbrokes said ' If we keep taking bets for the Allstars, we won't be Ladbrokes, we'll be Broke-Lads!'

Allstars player-manager John Kay said ' It's a shame for our supporters that a lot of them won't be able to place a bet on their team, but I understand the bookies position, after all we do have a much larger and improved squad than last year and I really can't see anyone beating us.'


The Allstars board has announced that fans favourite, John Smith will be taking over as club chairman after the departure of former chairman Ian Mosely. Smithers, a financial whizz-kid, has bought up Ian's shares to become the new majority shareholder with a 61% stake in the club. Speaking from his holiday retreat in Airdrie, Smith had this to say 'ooooooo, it was a bit steamy-windows for a while, but after I got CR Smith in to have a look they cleared the condensation from the board room window, and I was able to strike a deal with Ian.'


Rumour has been rife this week that this will be manager Kays last chance at glory in the prestigious Festog tournament. Allstars have been runners-up the last two seasons and new chairman Smith is said to be hungry for success. 'We are expected to win the tournament this time around but if BC Milan manage to squeeze us out then I think the new chairman may want to change things' said Kay. Captain Elgie would be a firm favourite to take over and is highly respected in the Festog Association. He stated that ' I feel myself getting too old to play these days and keep up with some of the fitter lads like Pinchbeck. I think the time has probably come for me to join the backroom staff  as I feel I'll never REGAINE what I've lost.' Also in the frame as a possible candidate for manager would be Ruud Gullit recently released by part-time club Newcastle Utd.


The Allstars squad are in training now preparing for the big event. Manager Kay has described his team as ' the most talented bunch of men I have ever worked with.' He said ' Of the original team members we have Matt Chattell in goal, who has been exceptional over the last few seasons. Captain Elgie who has been the backbone of the team with the exception of a few hairy moments. Roddy MacLachlan is a solid player who keeps things so tight that not a penny would squeeze past him. Paul Grant is an exceptionally talented player who can fairly run around the park when he is not carrying the OIM on his back, and finally the young starlet Ali Gillespie who is just out of de-tox will mature into a good player.' Of the new boys Kay had this to say ' In signing Scott Fisher from Alphaletico Madrid we have brought in some fresh talent although we hope he is better at scoring goals than buying houses. Another new boy is big Brian Duncan who should make sure we are in with a SHOUT.'


Last month Allstars signed Tom Wotherspoon from Woodgrouphampton Wanderers, but unfortunately it was after the transfer deadline so he is now playing for the Allsorts. Tommy, speaking through an interpreter, said ' I was a WEE bit sad at missing the deadline but I wish the Allstars well and will hopefully get my chance to show what I can do for the Allsorts.'

Club scout and chief of the BAMS(Bravo Allstars Mobile Supporters), Bill Ramage said ' We have a large travelling support coming to watch the Allstars and I will bring along the club mascot, Mr Bill E. Goat, the cuddly six foot goat.'


The Allstars board have also confirmed that they have signed a multi-million pound deal with Hollywood  movie mogul Robert Duvet. It is though that the famous actor would like to use shots of the Allstars crowd for scenes in his new film, Duvet said 'I have always been a bit of an Allstars fan and I think their supporters are amongst the best in the world. Making this movie with the Allstars will also enable me to team up with your own movie legend, Roddy MacLachlan, who starred in Terminator 2, who I have admired for a long time now.'


Team coach Neil Pinchbeck was hopeful of 1999 being a successful year for the Allstars, ' I have been in charge of motivating the guys for a long time and I think I have done a good job, the guys are a lot more aggressive when they go to the bar, their passing motion is excellent with rounds being distributed at an astonishing rate with few mishaps and their finishing off is just superb.'

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